You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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