Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
