so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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