i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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