Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
