He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
