im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
