She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
