Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
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The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
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Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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