I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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