I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
