thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
