A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
