Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
