this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
