I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
