I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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