I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
