We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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