Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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