My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
