anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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