I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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