i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
