I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
