It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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