I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
