I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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