I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
