Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
