quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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