i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
