People in love make me want to vomit
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
