Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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