dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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