Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
