I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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