Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
