I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
