Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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