I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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