she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
