Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Still dying that you shit outside
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
