dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
