well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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