I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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