Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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