I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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