wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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