we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
time to smoke my breakfast
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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