i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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