ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
