It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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