Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
