Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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