I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
