did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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