Texts From Last Night

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  (941): View more from Florida

  I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message

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  (941): I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message http://tfl.nu/pqsm
  Replies (9) Good night (5723) Bad night (1116)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out

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  (989): you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out http://tfl.nu/f2m2
  Replies (24) Good night (1057) Bad night (5775)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink

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  (906): I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink http://tfl.nu/nyxg
  Replies (17) Good night (773) Bad night (4171)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...

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  (781): Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa... http://tfl.nu/bbhr
  Replies (18) Good night (5036) Bad night (1058)
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  (951): View more from California

  she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.

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  (951): she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked. http://tfl.nu/fnf4
  Replies (18) Good night (4088) Bad night (1240)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.

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  (443): she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise. http://tfl.nu/igb9
  Replies (9) Good night (2356) Bad night (813)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.

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  (717): It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point. http://tfl.nu/8d6y
  Replies (8) Good night (3552) Bad night (903)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.

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  (832): And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/hp91
  Replies (12) Good night (2451) Bad night (1327)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job

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  (216): When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job http://tfl.nu/w0fk
  Replies (9) Good night (1632) Bad night (614)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair

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  (216): I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair http://tfl.nu/q3gk
  Replies (6) Good night (762) Bad night (1583)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.

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  (406): Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan. http://tfl.nu/6agv
  Replies (2) Good night (573) Bad night (408)
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  (564): View more from Washington

  I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.

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  (564): I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened. http://tfl.nu/a3m1
  Replies (2) Good night (710) Bad night (332)
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  (323): View more from California

  She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.

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  (323): She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend. http://tfl.nu/2fjr
  Replies (2) Good night (1195) Bad night (317)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed

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  (515): Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed http://tfl.nu/4vqk
  Replies (2) Good night (222) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada

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  (515): It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada http://tfl.nu/dfi5
  Replies (1) Good night (432) Bad night (225)

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