are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
