on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
