When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend