Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
