"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
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He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
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I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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