yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
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We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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