Texts From Last Night

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  ..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.

  (1-828): View more from North Carolina

  nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz

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  (828): ..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels. (1-828): nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz http://tfl.nu/wr90
  Replies (6) Good night (1848) Bad night (563)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her

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  (401): so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night" (1-401): um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her http://tfl.nu/rdn4
  Replies (12) Good night (908) Bad night (2427)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?

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  (210): she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know? http://tfl.nu/j2zq
  Replies (50) Good night (7073) Bad night (892)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.

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  (832): i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week. http://tfl.nu/mv1q
  Replies (64) Good night (1141) Bad night (11020)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now

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  (412): My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now http://tfl.nu/563a
  Replies (12) Good night (1548) Bad night (5113)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.

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  (617): The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door. http://tfl.nu/n48k
  Replies (29) Good night (4006) Bad night (1582)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.

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  (971): I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer. http://tfl.nu/l4im
  Replies (12) Good night (4634) Bad night (1086)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?

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  (352): Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house? http://tfl.nu/bc2r
  Replies (14) Good night (9793) Bad night (2527)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again

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  (904): Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again http://tfl.nu/3izm
  Replies (7) Good night (2851) Bad night (1067)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  FUCK YOU MAN

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  (717): Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in? (1-717): FUCK YOU MAN http://tfl.nu/h049
  Replies (3) Good night (1745) Bad night (774)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.

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  (434): This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair. http://tfl.nu/7doa
  Replies (4) Good night (415) Bad night (1050)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.

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  (954): All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me. http://tfl.nu/3tzi
  Replies (1) Good night (581) Bad night (353)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year

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  (214): Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year http://tfl.nu/uj3d
  Replies (7) Good night (312) Bad night (227)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him

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  (303): He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him http://tfl.nu/0402
  Replies (2) Good night (504) Bad night (128)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?

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  (314): Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going? http://tfl.nu/42ny
  Replies (4) Good night (789) Bad night (117)

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