I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
