Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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