I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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