she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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