We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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