I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize